It was an evening of boundary pushing performance, as curators Niknaz Tavakolian and Zavé Martohardjono envisioned. And as a boundary pusher performer I was so excited to join the concept.
I performed a new work called HERE(now) on November 20th, 2011 exploring this idea of ephemerality of presence. The setting would have been ideal in the old Dixon Place living room theater. Oriented in what felt like the downstairs party hall for the die hard queer volunteers, we set up shop amidst a caverous pink fluffy lounge. I planned my performance in a corner behind a series of pink stalgmites. With a small television set, playing a video I made called Signifyin’ Delta, audience members were invited to sit down on pink retro couches and have a conversation about a variety of subjects. A work of improvisation HERE(now) honors the unique transient nature of the present.
I created a very homey corner, with a lamp, soft lighting from the television set and warm violet and yellow gels. What I learned from the performance were ways of engaging a variety of people with a wide variety of interests and experiences. Between other performances I was able to say hello to various friends who came to experience mapping fields, who later sat with me in my space to watch the rest of the performances. When it came time for my show, and my light came on I had guests already to converse with. Instead of the one individual I envision I would have to invite, I instead had a nice group of about 3 guests to start. I asked each of them to begin by talking about what they felt about the performances so far. Engaging the audience, and making their experience and reflections the performance itself.
I brought images of my past, and asked my guests and other volunteers to come and help me rearrange my past to create a new image of this moment. And together, we created a collaborative collage, that was 3 dimensional. The collage extended to the cavernous structure surrounding us. the artistry of the audience came out.
Somewhere amidst the throws of performing, and thinking about my performance, and talking about my performance as it happened, and afterwards, I left feeling like this work was theater. This work was a theatrical set inside of a cave where audience members didn't understand that they should be giving me their attention. I wondered if I need to do a better job soliciting their attention, or what kind of setting can I create to enhance the small details, and magnify the action so that it is visible to all audience members. Installation is one thing, but when a work is interactive, I need a wider space to gather focus, and spread out the attention. I do enjoy the fact that audience members had to walk up to my space to observe, but I could not ask everyone to stand and listen for more than 10 minutes. I think that was just a bit too physically demanding on all bodies. They would need seats for that duration of time.
Performing the moment, allows one to shift in experiential awareness of the present. I found my heart center can operate in casual conversation. And its not an overwhelming feat, as I think my fears rationalized. I am aware of my company, and my companies awareness. I entered a very meta state of emotional sensitivity.
Not many were able to see my film Signifyin' Delta, but Joel who observed one segment while cuting paper, was curious about the ritual element of the film. I explained it was a made up ritual, as in it was not a literal repreesntation of any one thing, but rather a combination of various daily rituals but practicted in solitude. Lighting candels to set a romantic atmostphere, but also to honor the dead, burning incese to clear the energy, and offerings of money in the form of coins. The ritual readings are so interesting to reconsider, after focusing on valuing systems most recently, I realized this work has various facets... the reality of what happens when one works on early works... there is a feeling that there is so much we must represent. And its possible to do it. To have double or triple meanings... those that are burdend with such troubles find creative ways to make many things happen at one instance.
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